Fever Ep. 1 - Diary Entry
A. Intro
1 Out of the procession of busy people,
Along a deserted side road
And after passing a maze of cement walls
I can see the entrance to a factory with the ‘No-Entry’ warning sign.
I cut through the wild grass growing at the entrance to the factory.
A path appears with several footprints made through the grass,
And as usual a familiar beat can be heard in the distance.
The deserted warehouse, rusty iron gates ringing with the beat.
2 Opening the iron gate, welcomed by our own space,
I see my friends dancing to the familiar beat.
When the guys came into my sight one by one,
A broad smile lit up my face.
These are the faces I never got tired of seeing every day.
3 This is our own space.
Laughing, crying, arguing, dancing, and singing.
A space where our dreams came together,
Our hideout, our own world, separating us from the adult world.
4 Right now, it is a moment void of compromises and tameness,
It is the moment before we opened that door.
1. Hongjoong
1 I don’t want to be forgotten as if I never existed.
2 I am sure that we live under the same sky and under the same world. But, I feel like I'm a bit different from those people on TV dancing under those bright lights. Once I become a bright star that can be seen from everywhere, like those people on TV, will my family notice me? Even if it were by coincidence, I wish I could meet them at least once. If my family could get back together like before… I miss the warmth of our living room.
3 My family scattered around and here I am with my new family I made while living alone… I’ve met my fellow members by doing music together in our little hideout. Just thinking about them warms my heart! I really hope we can achieve our dreams together! My family, the music we love, and our dreams… We must keep them.
2. Seonghwa
1 She, who was dancing to the beat.
Everything around me froze for a moment. The only thing I could hear was the sound of music coming from her earphones. She was moving as if nothing mattered anymore.
Common sense, rules, and this tough world didn’t have power over her moves. Right this moment, my world broke along this snowy road. Something changed in me, but I stayed still and couldn’t say anything.
2 She dropped a bracelet that had ‘Be Free’ engraved on it. Ever since that day, I went to the same place at the same time.
3 But, she never came back. I didn’t know her name or address. Just like the ‘Be Free’ bracelet she wore, she freed herself away. Since then, music never sounded the same again. I can no longer distinguish the structure, code, or genre of the song. Only the lingering feeling of that day remains.
3. Yunho
1 Hey brother, you look like you are in such a good mood today!
The weather is so good as well. Even though I was running to see you, I didn’t even feel the heat.
On days like this, we would have gone to the Han River for some street performance, right? Ah, I’m getting nostalgic!
Oh, brother! It has been a while since I took out that broken guitar.
I wanted to get rid of it because it reminded me of a broken side of you. But since it’s a guitar you cherished so much, I just left it out of sight because it seemed like you abandoned your dream.
2 You know brother: I have a friend like you on our team! His name is Hongjoong. He is the kind of person I would go to when things get tough. He is a person I admire on both artistic and humane level. Thinking about it now, you both kind of look alike? I think you guys would get along together if you’d ever meet each other.
You know, now I am laughing thanks to Hongjoong and the guys from the team. I avoid thinking about these painful memories and instead I am focusing on the dreams you couldn’t achieve. I will make them happen: the boys and I will make it happen.
3 When that time comes, you must wake up from the long hibernation. I want to show you all of it!
I’ll be back tomorrow. Good night!
4. Yeosang
1 I was never too good with mechanics. It all started when I dismantled the speaker. Every time I felt stuffy, I would disassemble various appliances or instruments and then reassemble them back together.
My parents had everything planned for me: doing the same routine at the exact same time. The only time I could go out of this cycle was when I disassembled and reassembled things.
Thanks to this weird habit, I met the guys.
That day in that shabby warehouse, a bunch of guys I’d normally run away from, asked me if I knew how to work a drone. This whole encounter was a bit strange! I actually was lost and wandering around. The sound of music is what brought me to that place.
From that day on I went there every day.
2 The best feeling was dancing to the music. Dancing was such a mind-blowing activity.
Even when I saw my parents’ worried faces flashing before my eyes, I just couldn’t stop.
3 For the first time ever, I felt alive. Hearts pounding like it’s about to burst out and this tingling feeling coming up from my fingertips started to take over me.
Was there a moment when I wanted something this bad? One by one, more children started to say my name. The path that only I walked with one another person became the path to many. Slowly, the word ‘I’ became ‘ours’. However, now I must leave the ‘ours’.
If I back out everything will be back to normal, the scattered members and the stolen hideout.
I’m sorry guys.
5. San
1 I was always laughing, but I always felt lonely. I just couldn’t open up or maybe I’ve never had the time to open up. Every time I got closer to someone, I had to move.
It is happening again today, but this time it’s a little different.
Now I have friends to talk about my feelings. As soon as I saw them, I knew right off the bat, they’re like me. Oh, Seonghwa was a little different. He never tried to do anything the traditional way, he was always ‘HIS’ way.
My dad said we would have to move again. It was something I was used to hearing, but this time it hit differently. Can I just leave like that now that I have a place of my own…
What should I say to Wooyoung? Thanks to him, thanks to my friends, I was able to perfect my dance moves.
Bobo, what should I do? What? You want me to do it the ‘MY’ way?
6. Mingi
1 Music was my haven, my escape, my one and only relief. When I felt like dying, I would listen to music.
I wasn’t afraid of death! People who never lived in poverty would never understand this feeling. People around me looked at me as if I were an alien from another planet., laughing at an immature high school student wanting to die. I guess it is uncommon for someone my age to feel that way.
Only few friends’ names you remember through elementary, middle, and high school. Most of them were in elementary school. No one talked to me, but that is mainly because I didn’t answer even when they tried talking to me. But Wooyoung was different. Not that I remember, he was with me all throughout elementary, middle, and high school. Wooyoung would always come next to me every break. Whether I answer or not, he would go on with his stories about our classmates, his favorite songs, some respected American dancers, and that music team he works for outside of school. He always tops it with that signature laugh of his, which naturally made me laugh. Out of shyness, I started calling him ‘Woo-Ong’. Ah, that unique laugh of his. He was the first friend I’ve ever opened up to.
2 At some point, I started eating and spending most of my time with Wooyoung. It was around that time too when I followed him to the hideout for the first time: the place where I could dream. They were friends who took me as I am. We cried, laughed, and made music together. They accepted me as who I am, regardless of where I live or who my parents were. I felt exuberant for the first time in my life. But now I’m getting scared. Can I really have a dream? Will it not be taken away from me?
7. Wooyoung
1 My mind has gone completely blank. Who am I? Where am I? I want to run away.
2 Will I fail again? When I was practicing and dancing alone, I was pretty confident! My practice video on social media had reached over 100,000 views. Many people contacted me and even big entertainment companies offered me to audition for them. But once I felt their look towards me, I just couldn’t move. I closed my eyes trying to escape, and then Seonghwa’s voice popped into my head.
“Wooyoung, before you start performing on stage, remember these three things!”
“Everything will be okay!” “Believe in yourself!” “You can do it!”
“He will be too nervous to remember THREE things! What kind of psychology book did you read?”
“Yunho, are you making fun of Seonghwa again? But hey Wooyoung, believing in you is the key.” Hongjoong is always good at putting everything into perspective.
A smile crept in my face. I felt their presence even though they were nowhere to be seen. I felt the energy back on my feet.
3 I had a habit of constantly chatting to overcome stage fright and I practiced laughing to hide my shyness. It was a defense mechanism of mine to focus. I didn’t care even when others made fun of it. But that only lasts for a minute, once I became aware of their scrutinizing eyes, my body just froze.
4 The first time I met Hongjoong, Seonghwa and Yunho were at the street performance. I could see they had something I didn’t have: Expressiveness beyond dance techniques and showmanship that captivated the audience. When I danced with them, I wasn’t self-conscious and was able to deliver my best performances.
My legs are tense. The first step the step that I was never able to do, the chain that was tying my body, was magically released.
8. Jongho
1 I had it all planned: Winning Nationals, being player of the year, and the youngest national basketball player… I had no other plans in my life than this one.
On the first day of this injury, I was only thinking of quickly rehabilitating and getting back on the field. But, now I can’t play basketball anymore. “Then what do I do now? I can’t do anything but basketball!” “Let me play basketball, I’ll do anything!” I begged the doctor but it didn’t work.
2 I felt like I was drowning. No matter how hard I tried, I was still stuck in the exact same spot. As the time went by, I just tried to keep myself from drowning, just barely holding up. Is it okay to live like this? I know I can’t! But the moment I gave up playing basketball, everything inside of me was lifeless., as good as being dead.
3 That lifeless look, before Yunho grabbing my hand, looked so much like me. My hand is throbbing from the pain. Mingi clearly saw the fist coming his way but didn’t try to avoid it. His lifeless eyes are still hunting me.
4 When Mingi said he would quit, that our dream was a luxury, and that the time we spent together meant nothing to him, I couldn’t stand but to punch him. Funny enough, it was a heartbreaking moment for me, but also the time I started to dream again.
5 At that time, I didn’t know how to reach out to a lost Mingi.
Where are we, where should we go?
Z. Outro
1 Even though I lost my dream and family again. There was nothing I could do.
Everyone left and here I am, alone again.
2 On a summer day, when the hot and humid weather continued without a single drop of rain, we decided to go our separate ways. All that because our dream of being together have become like shackles that hold us down. The scorching sun melted away even our dream of youth and made it disappear at the end of our feet. Problems were piling up like laundry that had been put off. Even if,not often, the promises we made were pushed back day by day and we forgot about each other. It was around that time I began seeing him in my dream.
3 The man in the black fedora, whose eyes you could only see through his mask, a somehow familiar, but tired eyes.
4 “You lost your dream not because of the tough reality, but because you guys decided to.”
“Get rid of the idea that the world you see is everything. There are many dimensions and many realities in this world. The world I am in, the world you are in, are all real.”
“I want to tell you everything, but I don’t have much time right now.”
5 “What is this?”
6 “The Cromer. The key to connecting the world.”
7 He had a shining hourglass in his hand. This little hourglass was the key to connecting the world?
I carefully picked up the Cromer. At that moment, the man went back a few steps and spat out his last words.
8 “Follow your heart, the map is there.”
When I looked back up from the Cromer, the man was already gone.
9 I then opened my eyes. It was all a dream. I fell asleep alone in the hideout where no one was looking for him.
10 While I tried to hide my lonely heart and turn around, I saw something shiny on the desk right in front of the couch where I was lying. It’s the Cromer I saw in my dream.
Wasn’t it a dream? While looking at the Cromer, I inadvertently turned it around.
The sand in the hourglass began to flow back from bottom to top.
11 The iron door then opened and I could hear footsteps coming closer one by one. The guys then gathered around me with the same puzzled face.